Sunday morning Stoic: Invisible man

Meditations 7.67:

“Nature did not blend things so inextricably that you can’t draw your own boundaries—place your own well-being in your own hands. It’s quite possible to be a good man without anyone realizing it. Remember that.”

It’s quite possible to be a good man without anyone realizing it.

What if your character was so strong, your virtue so impeccable, your goodness so subtle that you flew completely under the radar?

What if you were practically invisible, with no awards or glory or killer job offers or huge number of Twitter followers?

Be good, be honorable and virtuous and strong, not for any external reward or acclaim, but just for the virtue of the action itself. Don’t do this for that. Do this for this.

And don’t be discouraged or distracted from your focus on excellence if no one acknowledges you. This thought from Marcus is mirrored in this passage (chapter 17) from the Tao Te Ching:

“When the Master governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists. Next best is a leader who is loved. Next, one who is feared. The worst is one who is despised. If you don’t trust the people, you make them untrustworthy. The Master doesn’t talk, he acts. When his work is done, the people say, ‘Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!'”

The Master doesn’t talk, he acts. When his work is done, the people say, “Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!”

A clue to finding your work

Paul Graham:

“If something that seems like work to other people doesn’t seem like work to you, that’s something you’re well suited for.”

What do you not mind doing, or even enjoy, that others think is a chore or tedious?

I often ask this interview question (crafted by a former student –Thanks, Sarah!): What is something you love doing that most others find trite or tedious or boring at best?

The answer may not hold the key to career nirvana, but this line of questioning can uncover clues to lead you there.

More from Graham’s essay:

“The stranger your tastes seem to other people, the stronger evidence they probably are of what you should do. When I was in college I used to write papers for my friends. It was quite interesting to write a paper for a class I wasn’t taking. Plus they were always so relieved.

It seemed curious that the same task could be painful to one person and pleasant to another, but I didn’t realize at the time what this imbalance implied, because I wasn’t looking for it. I didn’t realize how hard it can be to decide what you should work on, and that you sometimes have to figure it out from subtle clues, like a detective solving a case in a mystery novel. So I bet it would help a lot of people to ask themselves about this explicitly. What seems like work to other people that doesn’t seem like work to you?”

David Foster Wallace: “This is water”

Merlin Mann pointed out that this great video, which had been taken down for copyright issues previously, is back on YouTube.

It’s from the late, great David Foster Wallace’s memorable Kenyon College commencement speech. And it’s as brutally honest and surprisingly insightful as any commencement speech ever dares to be.

Instead of offering lofty platitudes and exhortations for success, Wallace shines a light on the reality of “day in, day out” life. And life happens just one moment at a time.

I’ve gone back to this talk regularly for its sharp reminders about real life and real freedom.

 

 

Quiet desperation

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There are thoughts we think, but dare not speak. Questions without answers, or with hard answers we would rather not consider.

In the still, quiet moments right before you drift off to sleep – that’s when it’s quiet enough, when the distractions recede just long enough to hear your life calling to you.

Listen. And act. Go confidently. Or just go, even haltingly.

Live the life you have imagined.

 

 

Live immediately

Seneca, possibly the most eloquent of the Stoic sages, from the work most consider his masterpiece, On the Shortness of Life (via BrainPickings):

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune’s control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.”

Just start.

Hardcore History: Blueprint for Armageddon V

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I was delighted when I opened my podcast app (Overcast) and found a new episode of Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History. I’ve raved before about how great Carlin’s work is, but new episodes don’t appear very often. And when you listen you understand why. I can’t imagine the hours that go into creating each episode. The research alone for a single episode must take weeks or months. And a four-hour episode flows seamlessly, meaning the preparation and editing involved in laying out the narrative so smoothly has to take a lot of time.

This latest episode is the fifth in his series on World War I. The complexities of that conflict are overwhelming, and I would not, even after hours of listening to this series, be able to recall the names of the constantly changing cast of generals and political figures. But what I get from this podcast, from the accretion of details and small stories and heartbreaking anecdotes, is an overarching sense of the insanity of our history. It’s fascinating and compelling to follow the flow of events and lives that collide in often tragic circumstances.

I listen while driving alone or while walking. My drive to work is only around fifteen minutes, but I look forward to Dan Carlin regaling me in those short bursts of time with true stories of humanity’s biggest events and told with Carlin’s characteristic enthusiasm and drama.

Here’s a good interview with Dan Carlin that explores how this podcast came to be and how he works.

If you haven’t discovered podcasts yet, Hardcore History is an excellent one to start with. It’s not light or quick. But it’s as rewarding a show to listen to as any I’ve discovered.

The invincible human being

I had previously filed away this article, “Why Stoicism is one of the best mind-hacks ever“, and just dug it up out of Instapaper. It’s a good summary of some basics of Stoic philosophy. And, at the center is this, beautifully explained by the author:

What the whole thing comes down to, distilled to its briefest essence, is making the choice that choice is really all we have, and that all else is not worth considering. ‘Who […] is the invincible human being?’ Epictetus once asked, before answering the question himself: ‘One who can be disconcerted by nothing that lies outside the sphere of choice.’

Any misfortune ‘that lies outside the sphere of choice’ should be considered an opportunity to strengthen our resolve, not an excuse to weaken it. This is one of the truly great mind-hacks ever devised, this willingness to convert adversity to opportunity, and it’s part of what Seneca was extolling when he wrote what he would say to one whose spirit has never been tempered or tested by hardship: ‘You are unfortunate in my judgment, for you have never been unfortunate. You have passed through life with no antagonist to face you; no one will know what you were capable of, not even you yourself.’ We do ourselves an immense favour when we consider adversity an opportunity to make this discovery – and, in the discovery, to enhance what we find there.

“Choice is really all we have.”

You can choose your response, your attitude, no matter the circumstances.  Some “bad” event can be redefined as “good” if you use it to learn, to grow, to become a stronger person. Imagine embracing all that occurs as though it was part of a master plan to refine you into an invincible human being.

Sunday evening Stoic: Wash off the mud

Meditations 7.47:
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Of course, you do revolve with the stars. And, our view of the stars and the perspective they provide has magnified profoundly since the second century when the emperor wrote those words.

The image in the slide above is the latest bit of wonder from the Hubble space telescope. It’s an incredible new photo of Andromeda, the galaxy nearest to our Milky Way. You can see so many far, far away stars, and in just one little speck of the nearby universe. (Consider this image for a good sense of how massive Andromeda is, but also for an appreciation of what a small speck we are in relation to the wonders of the universe.)

The world too much with you? Weighing you down? Stuck in the mud of life and not seeing the light? Look up. Look within. Let the big picture cascade over you and wash away the mud.

We are living in wonder land.

Razor A5 scooter: No age limit on fun

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This Razor A5 scooter is a blast to ride. Yes, I’m 50 years old, but I’m not too old to enjoy the thrill of coasting downhill on a kick scooter.

Today was a family fun day with my kids. My 7-year-old learned to ride a bicycle last week, and she’s been eager to get outside and try her new skills.

The scooter we got her last year is just sitting there now that she has this new love for her bike. What’s a dad to do?

“Out of my way, kid on a bike! Dad on a scooter coming around.”

This thing is a delight to ride. The large wheels give it a smooth ride, able to handle bumps and uneven pavement. The handle adjusts to fit kids or adults (who are just big kids). And it’s a solid little machine, clearly well designed and well made.

Thumbs up for the A5 from kid and dad.

Bill Murray: More fun, more better

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Image credit replaceface via Scott Schiller

Here’s a bucket list item: randomly encounter Bill Murray and engage in spontaneous wackiness. Stories abound about Bill Murray sightings and the delightfully funny escapades that often ensue.

This Rolling Stone article highlights some great moments in random fun with Bill Murray.

On the job fun:

Murray’s St. Vincent co-star Melissa McCarthy confides, “Bill literally throws banana peels in front of people.” I assume she’s using “literally” to mean “metaphorically,” as many people do, but it turns out to be true: Once during a break in filming when the lights were getting reset, Murray tossed banana peels in the paths of passing crew members. “Not to make them slip,” McCarthy clarifies, “but for the look on their face when they’re like, ‘Is that really a banana peel in front of me?'”

Fun with kids:

Murray transforms even the most mundane interactions into opportunities for improvisational comedy. Peter Chatzky, a financial-software developer from Briarcliff Manor, New York, remembers being on vacation at a hotel in Naples, Florida, when his grade-school kids spotted Murray having a drink poolside and asked him for autographs. Murray gruffly offered to inscribe their forearms but ended up writing on a couple of napkins instead. Jake, a skinny kid, got “Maybe lose a little weight, bud,” signed “Jim Belushi.” Julia got “Looking good, princess. Call me,” signed “Rob Lowe.”

Murray has realized that it’s when he’s having fun that he is most truly himself and able to offer his best:

Like all of Murray’s best film work, it originates in his stress-free mentality. “Someone told me some secrets early on about living,” Murray tells a crowd of Canadian film fans celebrating “Bill Murray Day” that same weekend. “You can do the very best you can when you’re very, very relaxed.” He says that’s why he got into acting: “I realized the more fun I had, the better I did.”

I need to be reminded regularly to not take life so seriously. A guy like Murray is probably constantly asking himself, “What’s funny about this situation?” or “How can I have fun with this?”

My primary work is about providing experiences, and fun has to be a big part of it. Not scripted or programmed fun, but the kind that flows naturally out of the moment. I’ve got to keep reminding myself to actively model spontaneous fun and allow my team to relax and make some moments worth talking about for the people we serve. Break the pattern. Do the unexpected. But don’t try too hard.

My best presentations stand out in my memory for the fun I had connecting with the audience. When I deviate from the plan and say or do something unexpected or get the audience to laugh, usually at me. Walking into a moment with the attitude, “Let’s have some fun here” can make everything better, whether it’s a job interview or a first date or a presentation or even a Monday morning in your cubicle in a soulless, downtrodden workplace.

And reading this about Bill Murray is a good reminder to have more fun with my family, to be silly and spontaneous more often with my wife and kids. Now that we are back in a daily school and work routine, it’s easy to sleepwalk my way through each morning and evening, checking off the tasks. But it only takes a few moments of being truly awake to add real juice to your days and make them more meaningful and more fun.

And waking up, when sleeping is the norm, seems to be Murray’s ultimate aim, for himself and for those he encounters:

Another essential Murray principle: Wear your wisdom lightly, so insights arrive as punch lines. When pressed about his interactions with the public, he admits that the encounters are, to a certain extent, “selfish.” Murray shifts his weight on the couch and explains, “My hope, always, is that it’s going to wake me up. I’m only connected for seconds, minutes a day, sometimes. And suddenly, you go, ‘Holy cow, I’ve been asleep for two days. I’ve been doing things, but I’m just out.’ If I see someone who’s out cold on their feet, I’m going to try to wake that person up. It’s what I’d want someone to do for me. Wake me the hell up and come back to the planet.”

Only 51 weeks left in 2015

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I know, I know… Give it a rest, right?

But December 31, 2015 is now exactly 51 weeks away. One whole week of 2015 is gone.

I hope it was a good week and a lovely start to your year. Each of the next 51 weeks will disappear just as suddenly.

I tend to overestimate what can be accomplished in a week or two, thinking I can completely revolutionize my life in a fortnight. (Yes, I just used the word fortnight for the first time in my life. The joy of this landmark moment that you are sharing with me right now, it’s inexpressible. This glow of vocabulary achievement will linger for at least, what, fourteen nights, maybe.)

I, however, tend to underestimate the impact of incremental, consistent, even if slow, improvement. Just keep being awesome in small ways, and do it over and over even if you don’t notice any big change. You can usually only see the big change looking back on it over a long period of time. It sneaks up on you. You can’t see it while it’s happening.

But you won’t get there by trying to check off your list of awesome in one fell swoop. Just start. Do what you can with what you’ve got where you are. And then keep at it and improve just a little. And 51 weeks later you might truly surprise and delight yourself.

 

 

Just start

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“JUST DO IT” is a compellingly catchy slogan, but it’s a bit overwhelming and slightly frightening for some of us.

“Really? I don’t think I can do it. So, I just won’t even try.”

But, just starting, that’s not so risky or intimidating.

Just attempt one push-up. Just take a short, easy walk. Just start writing something, even just a sentence, that you don’t have to share with anyone if you don’t want to. Just say “Hello” to that person. Just try that new habit for a week or two and see what happens. Just begin that hard thing you don’t feel confident about or eager to do.

Don’t even think about the entirety of the project or the goal. Most goals are arbitrary anyway. And imagining the steps down the road can take your focus off the one step right in front of you now. And that step is not so hard.

Thinking about starting is not the same as starting. Don’t worry about being perfect or getting it just right. The audacity of beginning something that could end up being awesome might give you enough oomph to get over the hump of meh.

Meh is a good place to begin, actually. You can trick yourself by saying, “Let me start with this awful, unimpressive, tentative first step or first draft.” Intend to be mediocre if you have to to take the pressure off. And then you can’t help but get better if you keep going.

But you can’t keep going if you don’t get going.

Just start.

 

Seinfeld: “I’m a thrower-outer”

Sharp insight and life wisdom from the astute (and funny) Jerry Seinfeld:

“All things on Earth only exist in different stages of becoming garbage.”

“Your home is a garbage processing center where you buy new things, bring them into your house, and slowly crapify them over time.”

This, by the way, is from one of the richest people in the entertainment business, a man who can buy more things than most of us could even imagine. (And I find that comedians have some of the wisest insights. They seem to observe life and its absurdities much more intently and honestly than most.)

Few things retain real value in your life over time. That shiny new awesome gadget is just future garbage. Same with that new piece of clothing or jewelry or furniture. Look through your stuff and consider what has remained valuable to your over a long period of time. I have some great things that have endured and remain useful and don’t have me itching to replace them. But most of my stuff has a pretty short shelf life.

I’m a “thrower-outer” and don’t feel overly attached to things. But I let too much clutter – future garbage – hang around in my life for too long. This is a great time of year to scan my surroundings and accelerate the garbage creation process for the inessential things in my life.

Contractor bags, those over-sized, super tough trash bags, are the ultimate tool for quickly culling the clutter. Just throw your unwanted stuff in the bag. Don’t think about having a yard sale or giving your future garbage to someone else. If it doesn’t make you happy or offer some useful value, put it in the bag.

Everything is going to go eventually. Let me expedite the process for the unnecessary stuff so that I can better appreciate the great things I do value. And I will be left with more energy for experiences and people that matter the most.

ht becomingminimalist.com

 

Taming the easily distracted brain: Focus, then wander

M.G. Siegler linked to this Daniel Levitin NYT article from last summer about the way the brain works.

The article explains that our brains have two basic operating modes: a focus mode that gets things done and a wandering or daydreaming mode that allows for neural resets and fosters creative breakthroughs. Both modes are necessary, and both are being challenged as never before with the information overload most of us experience every day.

The author recommends dedicating chunks of time, 30 minutes to an hour, say, to focus on a project without distraction. And build in breaks between focused time to allow the mind to wander, to daydream. Here is Levitin’s advice:

“If you want to be more productive and creative, and to have more energy, the science dictates that you should partition your day into project periods. Your social networking should be done during a designated time, not as constant interruptions to your day.

Email, too, should be done at designated times. An email that you know is sitting there, unread, may sap attentional resources as your brain keeps thinking about it, distracting you from what you’re doing. What might be in it? Who’s it from? Is it good news or bad news? It’s better to leave your email program off than to hear that constant ping and know that you’re ignoring messages.

Increasing creativity will happen naturally as we tame the multitasking and immerse ourselves in a single task for sustained periods of, say, 30 to 50 minutes. Several studies have shown that a walk in nature or listening to music can trigger the mind-wandering mode. This acts as a neural reset button, and provides much needed perspective on what you’re doing.”

Turn off any unnecessary pings on your devices. I’ve known people whose phones audibly alert them every time an email arrives. Insane. This article has prompted me to turn off email notifications on my phone’s lock screen and even to disable the badge noting the number of unread emails on the app icon.

Twitter and email and messaging apps should serve my needs. They don’t need to control me and make me jump at every new input. What if I responded to email just once each day? What if the only apps open on my Mac were the ones I was actively using?

This is hard to do. It’s so tempting to keep checking to see if anything new has appeared in any of my many internet collection buckets. But even blocking off 30 minutes to work with focus, without distraction, on something important can lead not only to a more productive work life, but to a saner, calmer life as well. Close the door if you can. Put on headphones. Shield yourself from pings and alerts.

And go take a walk. Get outside. Wander the halls. Change your perspective regularly for a reset before going back into focus mode. Experiment for yourself and see what works best for you.

Find a rhythm that nature, and your neural wiring, expects and seems most conducive for productivity and creativity and peace of mind. Focus. Wander. Focus. Wander.

Got it? Okay. Going on a walk. Right. Now.

Sunday morning Stoic: Sanity

Meditations 6.51:

“Ambition means tying your well-being to what other people say or do.
Self-indulgence means tying it to the things that happen to you.
Sanity means tying it to your own actions.”

You can’t control the weather. You can’t control what others say or do. You can’t control what happens to you.

But you can control your response to whatever happens.

Accept what happens. It’s futile, and ultimately harmful to your sanity, to resist what is. You don’t have to approve of what happens. You can just say to yourself, “Fascinating.” And then choose your action in response.

Welcome everything that happens, even bad things, as opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger.

I want to see it for myself

I read this today in Mindfulness in Plain English as a recommendation for the attitude to take when pursuing a mindfulness practice:

“Never mind what I have been taught. Forget about theories and prejudices and stereotypes. I want to understand the true nature of life. I want to know what this experience of being alive really is. I want to apprehend the true and deepest qualities of life, and I don’t want to just accept somebody else’s explanation. I want to see it for myself.”

This is good advice no matter the approach to living an authentic, wholehearted life.

We tend to live on automatic pilot, programmed by others – often well-meaning others – and plodding along a path we didn’t choose.

Why not have your own experience of life? Why not see for yourself what is real? Not virtual reality or someone else’s formula for meaning. Live your life.

What not to do

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What can I eliminate from my life to enlarge my life? I’m more aware of the clutter around me at the end of all the holiday excess than at any other time of year, and I need to use this season to propel me to hone in on the essentials.

I’ve already stopped some monthly services that were automatically billing my credit card but that just were not so useful any longer. I am going to take stock of the physical things that take up space around me but offer little value in return. If I don’t need it or love it, let it go.

What about my routines, most of which are unexamined? What is sapping energy from me or diverting me from more important priorities?

What about my work? What do I do that doesn’t add value? What can I cut that will free up resources for what’s truly essential?

What can I say “No” to that will make space for a more meaningful “Yes”?

Little by little obligations and habits and things accrue and impede or completely divert us from what we really want to do or be. Like how a controlled burn in a forest clears out the brush and makes room for new life, a regular, conscious purge of the inessential in my life can spark new possibilities or simply a return to first things.

 

 

Surprise yourself

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” –Neil Gaiman

My wife found and shared this great Neil Gaiman quotation today. Excellent thought for the beginning of a new year.

Make something beautiful to launch into the world. Be predictably awesome with your habits and routines so you can have the chance for true surprise and delight.

Last day of 2014: A strong finish

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Ten weeks ago I decided to go for a strong finish to 2014. Too often the end of the year gets muddled through and written off with all the distractions of the holidays. So, I made a commitment to focus on getting better as the year wound down instead of slacking off.

I established new habits and stuck with them. I am physically stronger than I was ten weeks ago. I’ve walked at least a mile every day for the last two months. I can do significantly more push-ups now than at any point in the past two years.

I’ve kept to my writing routine. I’ve started meditating. I’m sold on the power of intentional habits, of building systems around my priorities, not just aiming at arbitrary goals.

Act like you are who you want to be. Do those things the ideal version of yourself would do. Take action. Don’t wait for inspiration or until it “feels” right. Doing the thing you know you need to do is likely to summon the feeling you want. Even if you’re not ready. Especially if you’re not ready.

I want to live an excellent life. The basic building blocks of an excellent life are excellent days. It is in my power to craft my days around actions and habits that are most likely to make me a better person. We all have this power and the freedom to choose how we want to live and who we want to be.

Every morning promises a fresh start, another chance to make a day worth talking about, that marks your life with some bit of honor in living well and nobly. And tomorrow morning, though just another morning, is a chance to view the much larger canvas of an entire year of days.

I feel good about the finish to this year. Now, I want to start strong and string together some great days in 2015.

How we spend our days is, of course, how spend our lives. –Annie Dillard

Being open to uncertainty

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I find myself photographing memorable portions of books, actual paper books. It seems a bit odd, but it’s a way of collecting and noting thoughts that stand out to me. And since most of my notes are of the digital variety now, photos are a way to get these analog bits into my digital system.

The quote above is from Seth Godin’s new book, What To Do When It’s Your Turn. I’ve posted previously about what a beautifully made book it is, and the content holds up to the design.

The thought above, though, is well timed as a new year approaches. We tend to want to cling tightly to an illusion of certainty and stability. But the universe is energy, constantly in motion. Nothing stays constant except the fact that everything changes. Resisting this fact is futile. And the default for most of us.

Those who lean into the uncertainty of life are the ones most likely to make cool stuff happen. Why not brace yourself for not knowing and for insecurity and for uncertainty in the year ahead? Go with the flow of life’s crazy, unconstrained energy. Be a pathfinder.