Author: Eric Johnson

"The best way to know the truth or beauty is to try to express it."

Resistance is futile: Hadrian and the profound power of acceptance

Eric Johnson21 Comments

I’m reading Marguerite Yourcenar’s 1951 novel, Memoirs of Hadrian, about the Roman emperor and written as though it was his own journal as he is facing the end of his life. It’s addressed to the future emperor, Marcus Aurelius. I could only find a paperback copy but was eager to have it. A book like this dealing with Roman history and Stoicism and Marcus Aurelius is right in my wheelhouse. I, Claudius remains the most delightful novel I’ve read and helped spark my fascination with ancient Rome.

Memoirs of Hadrian is no I, Claudius, though. It’s not the exhilarating, page-turning romp through Roman scandal and political intrigue. Yourcenar’s book is a quiet, reflective review of a notable life as our protagonist is facing his final days.

I came across this remarkable passage yesterday. It’s Hadrian looking back on his years as a young army officer:

I determined to make the best of whatever situation I was in; during my years of dependence my subjection lost its portion of bitterness, and even ignominy, if I learned to accept it as a useful exercise. Whatever I had I chose to have, obliging myself only to possess it totally, and to taste the experience to the full. Thus the most dreary tasks were accomplished with ease as long as I was willing to give myself to them. Whenever an object repelled me, I made it a subject of study, ingeniously compelling myself to extract from it a motive for enjoyment. If faced with something unforeseen or near cause for despair, like an ambush or a storm at sea, after all measures for the safety of others had been taken, I strove to welcome this hazard, to rejoice in whatever it brought me of the new and unexpected, and thus without shock the ambush or the tempest was incorporated into my plans, or my thoughts. Even in the throes of my worst disaster, I have seen a moment when sheer exhaustion reduced some part of the horror of the experience, and when I made the defeat a thing of my own in being willing to accept it. … And it is in such a way, with a mixture of reserve and of daring, of submission and revolt carefully concerted, of extreme demand and prudent concession, that I have finally learned to accept myself. –Memoirs of Hadrian, pp. 44-45

This is life-changing insight explained with profound clarity. “Whatever I had I chose to have…” Consider some unpleasant circumstance or event, from something as trivial as having to wash dishes to something as potentially catastrophic as facing a tragic loss. If you welcomed this thing you have no control over and accepted it fully, embracing, even, something that seems unembraceable, imagine the transformation in your psychology. Accept what is and use it to learn and grow and find unforeseen opportunities. Fling yourself fully into even the worst circumstances that befall you. Don’t resist. Welcome whatever comes your way and grow your character and peace of mind in the process.

 

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My current to-read list

Eric Johnson

For my birthday I received iTunes gift cards, and I’ve been loading up on some long-wished-for books and some recent finds in iBooks.

Here’s my current stack to read:

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This collection is a bit overwhelming because I don’t know where to start. Too many choices. But that’s a good problem.

Summer reset

Eric Johnson

A little bit of summer is what the whole year’s all about. -John Mayer, Wildfire

There’s January 1 and the beginning of the school year and the always exciting turning of the fiscal year. But I also love the beginning of summer as a time to dream new dreams and make new plans.

I know I come more alive with the warm weather and my kids’ long break from school. I’m outside significantly more often. Shoes are less necessary. I play more and eat better and generally feel healthier than any other time of year.

Why not use this season as a time for new adventures and grand ideas? What can we do to change our routines and make the most of the season? What healthy habit can you adopt? What new skill can you learn? How can you better connect with the people you love most?

Play and work and love and create like you’ve got a fresh, new start on life, and let this sunny season inspire you to be even more awesome and make some history and some memories worth talking about for many summers to come.

A little bit of summer makes a lot of history. -John Mayer, Wildfire

Wonder-ful life

Eric Johnson

May your world be rocked every day by a moment or two of wonder, when you catch yourself fully in the present moment in awe of the beauty and mystery we all are swimming in.

A life full of wonder makes for a wonderful life.

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Well played, college superstars. Well played.

Eric Johnson

I’ve been flying solo at work this week. My two colleagues have been out of town at a conference, so it’s been just me and our excellent team of college students running the shop. And the students have been great, showing up early and performing their duties with distinction. They are mature beyond their years, bright beyond their peers, and make my job about as much fun as anyone could imagine a workplace can be.

Today was my last day before a weeklong vacation (and before my birthday this weekend). When I returned from lunch I found my office door closed with a note on it wishing me a happy birthday. Opening the door revealed this:

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Impressive work, no? My first impulsive thought, though, was “What an annoyance this will be to clean…”

Then, as I surveyed the scene, I was genuinely delighted by the meticulous attention to detail and by the fun spirit that prompted this. The two primary culprits were cautiously awaiting my response and were preparing to start removing it right away. I paused and pondered for a moment, then I said, “Don’t clean up. We’ve got to leave it. Everyone needs to see this.”

This is practically a work of art, right? And it was inspired, I know, by their genuine affection for their old-enough-to-be-their-father boss who they were counting on being a good sport. I realized this was a high honor, a prank to be thankful for.

So, while I’m away on vacation, my office will remain a newspapered tribute to not taking work too seriously.

Well played, college superstars. Well played.

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Stoic Optimism: Ryan Holiday’s TEDx Talk

Eric Johnson

Following up on my post last week about Ryan Holiday’s wise little book, The Obstacle is the Way, here’s Holiday’s recent TEDx talk on Stoic Optimism:

There are some good stories in this talk. I loved the anecdote about Edison’s factory burning down and the inventor summoning the family to come because they would never likely see such a spectacle of a fire ever again. Find the good even in the really, really bad.

Some quotations from the talk:

Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. –Shakespeare

 

There is good in everything if only we look for it. –Laura Ingalls Wilder

 

Objective judgment, now at this very moment. Unselfish action, now at this very moment. Willing acceptance – now at this very moment – of all external events. That’s all you need. –Marcus Aurelius

Designing my next decade

Eric Johnson

I’ve been thinking about the “long game” since last week’s post. With a big birthday for me this weekend – both digits are turning over – I’m in a reflective mood.

If the long game is, say, to peak at 60, I’ve only got ten years till maximum awesome. We tend to overestimate what can be done in a year’s time and way underestimate what we can accomplish in five or ten years. What if I were intentional about thinking through the kind of person I hope to be in ten years? What would be ideal at 60, in a range of categories? Health and vitality, family, work, friendships, accomplishments, lifestyle, daily routines…?

I’m going on vacation next week and will use some of my time at the beach reflecting on this and discussing it with my wife and daughters. What kind of person do I want to be? What do I want my life as a 60-year-old to look like? How can I fulfill my potential as a husband and father and friend? What can I contribute? How can I awaken possibility in myself and others?

In the spirit of showing my work, here’s a mind map I started on today. Once I have some goals in mind, I’ll work back towards creating some systems, some habits to lead me in that direction. Systems and process trump goals, of course, and I can begin immediately acting as if I am the kind of person I hope to be.

Why not invest time in planning for the long view? Why not design the ideal you for the next decade or more and begin crafting habits to realize that vision?

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Real freedom

Eric Johnson1 Comment

The late David Foster Wallace on real freedom, overcoming our default settings and responding to life, or the “real world”, wholeheartedly and authentically:

The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. -David Foster Wallace

https://vimeo.com/75422173

Video by Max Temkin

Wonder why

Eric Johnson

“Learn to ask of all actions, ‘Why are they doing that?’
Starting with your own.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Reading those lines this morning reminded me of some great Stephen Covey insights I wish I was more inclined to consistently apply in my life.

I’m paraphrasing, but Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, suggested when you’re inclined to judge, stop yourself and attempt, instead, to try to understand.

“Why?” is the king of questions. And if you ask “I wonder why…?” on a regular basis, you will open yourself to possibilities and to compassion, for others and for yourself.

Asking “I wonder why that driver is driving so recklessly?” can transform you from an angry observer to a curious one. What if the driver was on the way to the hospital for an emergency? Unlikely? Sure. But just framing the question can give you pause and defuse an unhelpful emotion.

Got some bad habits or frustrating tendencies in your own life? Wonder why and you just might go a little easier on yourself while sparking the possibility for genuine understanding and possibly a breakthrough.

Instead of labeling or judging or reacting, use the gap between stimulus and response to try to understand.

Want to spark more meaningful conversations? Ask “Why?” often, not in a pestering way, but with the intent to truly understand the other.

Want a clear vision for your family or your organization or your work? Ask “Why?” and pursue the answers relentlessly.

Why not make “Why?” your go-to question, the spark for possibilities that otherwise would remain undiscovered.

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“Resistance”: Using fear to find your way

Eric Johnson5 Comments

This afternoon I made a trip to the backyard hammock. I had survived my daughter’s 7th birthday Frozen slumber party and was looking forward to a quiet day. I picked up my old Kindle e-reader, the one with no touch screen and no apps. I usually read on my iPad mini, but reading in a hammock outside is a Kindle occasion.

The book that happened to be at the top of the list when I powered the Kindle on was Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. Such a great read. It’s the ultimate kick in the seat of the pants for anyone who wants to get something done but who keeps not doing the thing they want to do.

Pressfield is a novelist (his Gates of Fire is terrific), but The War of Art is non-fiction and non-B.S. It’s straight talk about the battle we all face when confronted by the desire to make something meaningful or to live a nobler life. He names the force that opposes our efforts the “Resistance”. From the opening pages:

“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”

The greats are great because they mustered the will to overcome this Resistance. The greats didn’t wait on inspiration; they put their butts in their chairs and did work, whether they felt like it or not.

Instant gratification, comfort, pleasure, pain-avoidance of any sort are all forms of Resistance. Beating Resistance is a daily undertaking. It’s not a one and done kind of battle. Pressfield encourages us, though, to use Resistance to our advantage:

“Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point to true North – meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing.

We can use this. We can use it as a compass. We can navigate by Resistance, letting it guide us to that calling or action that we must follow before all others.

Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”

So, search yourself and explore the grand plans of your imagination. The plans for the kind of person you would like to be and the dreams of the work you want to do. Find where there is the most Resistance, those things that seem to be too much of a stretch, where the fear of action is greatest. There’s your calling. Head in that direction.

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The Long Game and the patient pursuit of awesomeness

Eric Johnson5 Comments

This two-part video series was inspired by one of my favorite recent books, Mastery by Robert Greene.

It takes a long time and focused effort to become an “overnight” success. Imagine being a 20-year-old whose primary focus was to peak at 60? How would such a mindset change your decisions? It’s so natural to be in a hurry, to be ambitious for success right away. But consider focusing on the “long game”, the steady, patient pursuit of awesomeness over the long arc of a life worth talking about.

via BrainPickings.org

The Obstacle is the Way

Eric Johnson3 Comments

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. -Marcus Aurelius

Ryan Holiday is an impressive young author. He’s in his mid-twenties and just published his third book, The Obstacle is the Way, which is a delightful, short, story-filled exploration of the value of embracing adversity. Ryan’s writing is influenced by the Stoics, and Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations is one of his favorite books also. (So, he must be cool, right?)

I’ve already given The Obstacle is the Way to a few young friends. It’s a quick read and filled with examples of great men and women who thrived in spite of, or, actually, because of the difficulties seemingly blocking their way.

Holiday, the author, has had an interesting career. He left college before graduating, but has continued his own education through some killer work experiences and a prolific consumption of books. My friend, Nick, recommended Holiday’s reading recommendation newsletter, and I’ve been impressed with the quality and quantity of his book suggestions.

This is a solid podcast interview with Ryan by Tim Ferriss. I listened to this while doing yard work recently and found Holiday to be just as engaging and thoughtful in conversation as he is in his writing. It’s a bit humbling to me that this guy who is almost half my age has accomplished so much and seems so wise already.

College students and others just getting started (and even old guys like me who are still trying to figure things out) will appreciate his take on building a meaningful and artful life.

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The daily grind, the daily find

Eric Johnson1 Comment

A year ago I committed myself to sharing something daily on this site. It didn’t have to be a well composed, lengthy essay about weighty matters. It could have been something small I had found or something I was trying to learn more about. I was fine with reaching the end of a night and simply posting a quotation or link just to fulfill my commitment to sharing something every day.

Often, that attempt to post some small item led to more searching and insight than I had expected. And I loved surprising myself with unanticipated output, with creative pursuits that wouldn’t have been given a chance except for my humble attempt to find just one little thing to share every day, to keep that commitment. I had a blast and looked forward to what would surprise me each day.

I kept that commitment for several months and felt, eventually, like I had accomplished a goal and could go back to posting sporadically. My posting was feeling more like a daily grind, a burden to come up with something worth sharing.

I realize now that I miss trying to fulfill the daily writing commitment. My life seemed clearer, more intentional when I had this tiny task every day. My brain was on a regular search to find something worth writing about. I’m reminded of Leo Buscaglia whose childhood was enriched by a father who expected every kid in the family to share at dinner each night something new they learned that day. Leo said he often would rush to the encyclopedias right before dinner, desperate to find something worth sharing.

The quest to better understand and better experience life is speeded along by an effort to express, to articulate, to share.

I don’t presume to have an audience (thank you lone reader, this one’s for you), but my target audience is myself. I write to know myself better, to figure things out, to see what I have to say. To write the internet I would enjoy reading. Secondarily, I write to my young daughters, who have no interest now in any of this. But, maybe someday they will find some value buried in here.

Even if I’m writing for myself alone, I owe it to myself to be as awesome as I can be. Sharing every day will produce a lot of bad writing and banal ideas. But bad could lead to okay. And okay might eventually produce something pretty good. The road to awesome is paved with a whole lot of mediocre, but mediocre action is better than no action.

So, brace yourself, lone reader. I’m back to the daily grind.

Sunday morning Stoic

Eric Johnson

From Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations:

“External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.
If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight?
And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it?
—But there are insuperable obstacles.
Then it’s not a problem. The cause of your inaction lies outside you.
—But how can I go on living with that undone?
Then depart, with a good conscience, as if you’d done it, embracing the obstacles too.”

“Concentrate on what you have to do. Fix your eyes on it. Remind yourself that your task is to be a good human being; remind yourself what nature demands of people. Then do it, without hesitation, and speak the truth as you see it. But with kindness. With humility. Without hypocrisy.”

Richard Sherman on craftsmanship: “meticulous attention to detail”

Eric Johnson

Kottke just shared this fascinating video of Seattle Seahawks star cornerback Richard Sherman talking about his craft. (Sherman is one of the more interesting personalities in the NFL. A Stanford grad with some serious smarts who is most well known now for his colorful comments. He talks, but he sure can back it up.)

I feel like I’m a decent athlete, but my tape study and my meticulous attention to detail are what make me a good ball player. -Richard Sherman

This video feature on Sherman is worth watching, even if you don’t have any interest in football. Sherman acknowledges he’s not the most athletically gifted at his position, but he’s considered maybe the best cornerback in the NFL. And it’s all because of how he prepares. He pursues his work with an obsessive attention to detail. Practice doesn’t necessarily make perfect, but thoughtful, strategic, relentless preparation can set you apart because so few, even the most gifted, pursue excellence with such focus.

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Mother’s Day gift: Sarah Kay’s poem

Eric Johnson

Need something thoughtful for a mother in your life for Mother’s Day this weekend? My daughters and I gave this lovely little book of Sarah Kay’s poem B to my wife a couple of years ago.

It’s the poem Sarah performed on the TED stage to much acclaim. I loved her dynamic presence on stage as much as her message.

Mothers and daughters will especially appreciate the message of this poem, but fathers and sons and any human would, too.

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John Mayer on craftsmanship

Eric Johnson

I’ve written before about my appreciation of John Mayer’s artistry as a musician. I just saw this new documentary, Someday I’ll Fly, about his career and came away impressed. It’s a thorough review of how he got to mastery. Mayer narrates and offers several gems of insight throughout:

“I used to be at home in my bedroom and pretend that I was on stage, and now I’m on stage and I pretend that I’m home in my bedroom.”
…
“I want to bring my playing all the way up to the the top of ability…there are some nights my playing goes over my ability. I kind of hit that place where I’m unsure. But then I always find that I get a little further into the craft by doing that.”
…
“That craft responds to truth, and you’ve got to stay truthful. No matter how many records you’ve sold or performances you’ve played, you come home, the whirlwind stops and you go back to the craft.”

When he was a teenager Mayer was so obsessed with getting good at playing guitar that his mom had to give him a “guitar curfew”, a time he had to stop playing every night. John Mayer wasn’t born with a gift for guitar. He worked hard to become great.

It’s both comforting and convicting to know that our own levels of mastery are completely up to us. If we want to get really good at something, we only need to be willing to obsess enough to consistently devote quality time and smart effort.

via shawnblanc.net

“Talent is not stopping.”

Eric Johnson1 Comment

This interview with Everything Is A Remix creator Kirby Ferguson is solid. Love his advice for those just getting started:

What would your advice be to the 20-year-old version of you, who’s just starting their career?

I wish I had Everything Is A Remix when I was younger. I wish I knew that you can just start copying other people’s stuff and fiddling with it, and putting stuff into it, and just sort of build from there. It’s okay to be primitive. That’s a perfectly fine way to start making things.

I wish the earlier me understood work and practice more. Just the repeated concerted effort to get better at things. I wish I didn’t have the notions of talent and genius I had back then. I thought, “Oh, these other people, they just have something that I don’t have.” When really, they are just people who work more.

I wish I understood work. Work is the key to anything you want to do. If you want to play the guitar—anybody can learn to play the fucking guitar—you can be good at it. Maybe you won’t get to be a genius but you could be good.

You can be good enough to write good songs or make a good film or whatever. There’s no such thing as not having enough talent to get to that level. I mean, persistence is talent, really. Just sticking with it. Talent is not stopping.

I keep coming across this simultaneously reassuring and frightening notion that genuine talent is not based on innate ability. We’ve got no excuse for not being great. It’s all about effort and persistence and thoughtful, incremental improvement. Sure, some people have genetic advantages, but the hard work and clear focus of someone of average ability can overtake the half-hearted efforts of a genius slacker.

Do the work. Be awesome.