The best conversationalists, when you examine what they say, don’t seem to speak as much as they ask good questions and listen intently and with enthusiasm. You don’t have to be clever or well versed in current events or culture to be the kind of person people want to talk to. You just need to be genuinely interested in others and care enough to inquire and listen.
Be tough on yourself. Enforce self-discipline and sacrifice and embrace adversity and rule over your actions so you can be more likely to avoid having anyone else rule your life. Choose your tyrant.
Few things focus the mind like a short deadline on a big plan. If there’s no external pressure, make up a deadline to keep from dragging your feet on a dream.
via @Parislemon
This was Hemingway’s advice on writing, but it works for advice on living an excellent life as well.
I went home for lunch today and had a bite of watermelon while thinking about this quotation. As I was trying to really taste it like Hemingway suggests, I bit my tongue. (I won’t try quite so hard next time.)
Hemingway’s advice is that we should live a more engaged and aware life.
“Try to be alive.”
What does it take to NOT sleepwalk through our days? How is it that we seem to be programmed to be numb and only those who have simply awakened to the full technicolor, surround-sound experience of life shine as artists and enlightened souls? (Young children have this by nature and most of us lose it as if that’s the price to pay for becoming an adult.)
We all fear dying, yet we should be afraid instead of not living while we have the chance. Life after death is a mystery, but life before death… that should be our primary concern every day.
The creative life is a bit of an antidote to the numbness. It’s why people write and make art and sing songs and post thoughts on the internet. Your effort to capture and express your unique human experience is like telling your consciousness to send out scouts to the present and bring back prizes of delight and insight and even pain.
The intention to express yourself can awaken you to see what’s around you so much more clearly. Don’t you know a photographer sees a different world than most of us. He’s looking intentionally at the world, hoping to find something worth expressing. If we all thought of ourselves as artists, even if we never share any creative output, we might all live a more awake and aware life. It’s a good reason to start a creative habit, to begin journaling or painting or learning an instrument or building web sites or making movies.
The challenge is to inhabit the present moment as often as you can, to live deeply while you’re still alive and to taste the sweetness and, sometimes, the bitterness of the now.
But be careful not to bite your tongue.
Everything you need to know about life can be learned from a genuine and ongoing attempt to write.
–Dani Shapiro
What do you do repeatedly, consistently, every day? Is that who you want to be?
Make excellence a habit. Determine the actions that are most meaningful to you. Writing? Speaking? Reading? Art? Service? Work skills? Giving quality attention to your family and friends? Taking care of your health?
Whatever you want to master, make a habit out of the skills required. In the short term, repeated action may have little to show for the effort. But it’s the long game that matters. Patience and consistency will eventually sneak up on excellence.
Do the thing you want to do with intention. Build routines around it. Craft your habits and inch your way to a remarkable life.
A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labours of a spasmodic Hercules. –Anthony Trollope
At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work—as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for—the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?”
—But it’s nicer here.…
So you were born to feel “nice”? Instead of doing things and experiencing them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?
—But we have to sleep sometime.…
Agreed. But nature set a limit on that—as it did on eating and drinking. And you’re over the limit. You’ve had more than enough of that. But not of working. There you’re still below your quota.
From Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Think of all the years passed by in which you said to yourself “I’ll do it tomorrow,” and how the gods have again and again granted you periods of grace of which you have not availed yourself. It is time to realize that you are a member of the Universe, that you are born of Nature itself, and to know that a limit has been set to your time. —Marcus Aurelius
The day has come. When you wake up it will be tomorrow, the day you’ve promised to take action, to be the person you’ve dreamed you could be.
If not now, when? Be awesome while you can.
Via Farnam Street
There would be a lot fewer words spoken if this was everyone’s guide.
I keep coming back to this and marveling at how challenging it is to follow this simple, yet profound instruction.
Consistently speak only what is truthful AND helpful and you will shine.
I was clicking through interesting links last night and tunneled my way through the internet to this great Art of Manliness post: The World Belongs to Those Who Hustle. It’s worth reading if you need a kick in the pants to get going or feel you are lacking in talent. Talent is overrated.
Excellence is yours if you’re willing to put in the effort. In fact, the odds of doing something extraordinary are in your favor because most people are content with ordinary, with safe and secure but not remarkable.
There’s actually more competition for average than there is for awesome, because awesome takes effort and persistence and courage. And only the few will choose that path.
No excuse will suffice if the only thing keeping you from being the person you dream to be is your commitment to hustle.
*The quotation above could very well be misattributed to Lincoln. Not sure if the word “hustle” had this connotation in the mid-19th century. But the sentiment of this thought certainly seems to fit what we know of Lincoln’s character and his rise to prominence from a poor, illiterate family.
All you get by waiting is more waiting. Absolute perfection is here and now, not in some future, near or far. The secret is in action – here and now. It is your behavior that binds you to yourself. Disregard whatever you think yourself to be and act as if you were absolutely perfect – whatever your idea of perfection may be. All you need is courage.
My grace is telling you now: look within. All you need you have. Use it. Behave as best you know, do what you think you should. Don’t be afraid of mistakes; you can always correct them, only intentions matter. The shape things take is not within your power; the motives of your actions are.
–Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
I found this in the book 365 Nirvana: Here and Now, which is a profound collection of insight and wisdom I used to keep on my nightstand.
This thought seems stunning: “Absolute perfection is here and now… Act as if you were absolutely perfect.” Acting as if conjures almost magical powers. Action is the key.
Do something! Stop thinking and waiting and hoping and wondering. Have a picture in your mind of who you want to be? Even if you’re not sure or you’re afraid you’ll change your mind later, go ahead and start acting like you are that person you envision.
Wake up each day and intend to be the perfect version of the human you imagine yourself to be. You will screw up, likely before you leave your room. It doesn’t matter. Your intent is what counts. Keep coming back to the actions that you desire.
Don’t judge yourself by some distant goal. Just be perfect in this moment. Act like you are who you want to be.
From Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations:
“The obstacle is the way” is such encouragement when facing adversity. And when aren’t we? Your nature calls for you to embrace difficulty and failure, to turn “obstacles into fuel” to propel yourself further.
Things not going as planned? Unforeseen problems appearing? Failure seems certain? Excellent! Use those obstacles to grow stronger, to reorient, to see previously unimagined possibilities. Seek out a path you know will be difficult if you want to grow and improve and live a life that burns brightly, that shines with the fire of your resolve.
Fill your day well, sleep well.
Fill your life well…
Everyone’s favorite Canadian Astronaut, Chris Hadfield, has written a really good book, The Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth. He tells the improbable story of how a kid from Canada grew up dreaming of going to space and ended up as the most well known astronaut of his era. The book is filled with lessons he learned on his quest but that are relevant to those of us who will only be astronauts in our imagination. Hadfield has been a prominent and relatable voice for space exploration and science education. And he just seems like such a good guy.
ZenPencils created a great illustration of this response from Hadfield in a Reddit “Ask Me Anything”, which he did while orbiting the Earth in the International Space Station:
Decide in your heart of hearts what really excites and challenges you, and start moving your life in that direction. Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow, and the day after that. Look at who you want to be, and start sculpting yourself into that person. You may not get exactly where you thought you’d be, but you will be doing things that suit you in a profession you believe in. Don’t let life randomly kick you into the adult you don’t want to become. –Chris Hadfield
Act like you are who you want to be. Do the things that the ideal version of you would do. Live the life you have imagined.
Steve Jobs once was asked which product he was most proud of. He said it was not the Mac or the iPhone, it was Apple, the company. He hoped to leave a legacy with the company and its culture that outlived him and any single product. So far, so good.
How did he plan to keep that going, even after he was gone? There’s an article in the New York Times about Apple’s secretive training program for employees that is designed to perpetuate Apple’s philosophy and culture and continue their run of success.
Culture is everything for an organization. A great company or non-profit or family, even, has to be intentional about connecting its people with what it considers its essential values and principles, and doing it continually and effectively. Don’t take anything for granted about what your people know about your whys and hows. Be relentless in telling the story of what made your organization what it is, but also in searching for opportunities to grow and rethink and shed what no longer resonates. Keep skating to where the puck is going, not where it is.
And consider this quote from Jobs in the article:
“Expose yourself to the best things that humans have done, and then try to bring those things into what you’re doing.” –Steve Jobs
That’s good advice for all of us. Seek out the best of what’s around (DMB reference for the win). Read the best writing and see the best movies. The classics are classics because their quality stands the test of time. Follow those at the top of your field. Be a connoisseur of quality in the things you surround yourself with. Appreciate the grace of great things and use those things to bring out the best in you.
From Alan Watts’s intriguing and challenging The Book On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are:
Unless one is able to live fully in the present, the future is a hoax. There is no point whatever in making plans for a future which you will never be able to enjoy. When your plans mature, you will still be living for some other future beyond. You will never, never be able to sit back with full contentment and say, “Now, I’ve arrived!”
Your life is now. The challenge is to live where your life is and not where you think or hope it’s going to be in the future.
Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs fame was asked by a fan for career advice. His response is frank and direct and awesome. And he closes with timeless advice for anyone trying to find their way in the world of work:
“Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job. Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.” -Mike Rowe
This is consistent with the advice I shared for those facing life after college. You don’t have to figure out your career. Pick a job where you can get picked, and then go be awesome. If you don’t like it, try something else. But stick with something long enough to get good at it, and at least learn what it means to truly work.
Be kind to everyone, even those who seem undeserving, who do not seem to have much kindness in them.
Who knows what burden they’re bearing or what has drained the kindness from them?
You don’t have to yield or give in. You can be strong and kind. But be kind if that’s all you can give. Your kindness may awaken some dormant spark of goodness that just needs a smile or gracious word.
You pay for quality.
If it’s poor quality you’ve purchased, you pay again with annoyance or frustration and regret and possibly lost time and maybe repairing or replacing.
High quality purchases may typically only require the initial payment.
Things are ultimately just things. But great things can add value and beauty and more consistently satisfying moments than things that are merely cheap.
It’s much better to have fewer things that you find useful and beautiful than to have a lot of things that ultimately do not delight you past the purchase price.
A clear-eyed pessimism to inspire action. Kubrick’s perspective may seem bleak, but like the Stoics, he expects no external motivation, whether it’s there or not.
Whether you imagine the universe to be indifferent, against you, or on your side, do what you can to make your life meaningful, to shine brightly where there is darkness, to “rage against the dying of the light.”
Excellent Journey 