Miles Davis, So What, and being in accord no matter the chord

This story that opens jazz great Herbie Hancock’s memoir, Possibilities, is profound:

I’m onstage at a concert hall in Stockholm, Sweden, in the mid-1960s playing piano with the Miles Davis Quintet. We’re on tour, and this show is really heating up. The band is tight—we’re all in sync, all on the same wavelength. The music is flowing, we’re connecting with the audience, and everything feels magical, like we’re weaving a spell.

Tony Williams, the drumming prodigy who joined Miles as a teenager, is on fire. Ron Carter’s fingers are flying up and down the neck of his bass, and Wayne Shorter’s saxophone is just screaming. The five of us have become one entity, shifting and flowing with the music. We’re playing one of Miles’s classics, “So What,” and as we hurtle toward Miles’s solo, it’s the peak of the evening; the whole audience is on the edge of their seats.

Miles starts playing, building up to his solo, and just as he’s about to really let loose, he takes a breath. And right then I play a chord that is just so wrong. I don’t even know where it came from—it’s the wrong chord, in the wrong place, and now it’s hanging out there like a piece of rotten fruit. I think, “Oh, shit.” It’s as if we’ve all been building this gorgeous house of sound, and I just accidentally put a match to it.

Miles pauses for a fraction of a second, and then he plays some notes that somehow, miraculously, make my chord sound right. In that moment I believe my mouth actually fell open. What kind of alchemy was this? And then Miles just took off from there, unleashing a solo that took the song in a new direction. The crowd went absolutely crazy.

I was in my early twenties and had already been with Miles for a couple of years by this time. But he always was capable of surprising me, and that night, when he somehow turned my chord from a wrong to a right, he definitely did. In the dressing room after the show I asked Miles about it. I felt a little sheepish, but Miles just winked at me, a hint of a smile on his chiseled face. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. Miles wasn’t one to talk a whole lot about things when he could show us something instead.

It took me years to fully understand what happened in that moment onstage. As soon as I played that chord I judged it. In my mind it was the “wrong” chord. But Miles never judged it—he just heard it as a sound that had happened, and he instantly took it on as a challenge, a question of “How can I integrate that chord into everything else we’re dong?” And because he didn’t judge it, he was able to run with it, to turn it into something amazing.

Miles Davis was the greatest jazz musician of his time. (Of all time, many would say.) And he was a famously difficult, contrarian personality. I was cringing with Hancock as I read this story, fearing the reaction from Miles.

But Miles merely heard Hancock’s “wrong” chord “as a sound that had happened” and did something excellent with it. And that the iconic jazz song they were playing is entitled “So What” makes this story perfect.

What has happened has already happened. Just say, “So what?” There’s no going back, and there’s no value in resisting reality or fretting about something you have no control over.

Miles didn’t judge that chord as bad or wrong. He used it, instead, to push him and his band into a new direction and to make something wonderful out of it. The obstacle is the way.

By being in accord with reality, by not resisting what is, you can take on whatever may come and use it as fuel to continue moving forward.

“Our inward power, when it obeys nature, reacts to events by accommodating itself to what it faces—to what is possible. It needs no specific material. It pursues its own aims as circumstances allow; it turns obstacles into fuel.” –Marcus Aurelius

Get a move on

Meditations 9.29:

“Do what nature demands. Get a move on—if you have it in you—and don’t worry whether anyone will give you credit for it. And don’t go expecting Plato’s Republic; be satisfied with even the smallest progress, and treat the outcome of it all as unimportant.”

Do your work. Don’t make a big a deal out of it or fret about whether you’re getting the credit you deserve or making a big enough impact.

Face what’s right in front of you and give it your best. Then move on without regret or second-guessing.

(“And don’t go expecting Plato’s Republic…” Ha!)

Good Government

“Not being able to govern events, I govern myself.” –Michel de Montaigne

Good for Montaigne.

He certainly had the right idea, and I don’t doubt that he had more success than the average person in governing himself and avoiding the futility of worrying over things outside his control.

How simple it is to understand that the vast majority of things that have happened, that are happening, and that will happen are beyond our control.

How challenging it is, though, to genuinely accept our very limited role in the unfolding of events.

Stuff happens. You can see events as happening to you. Or you can see everything—even, or especially, undesirable events—as happening for you, as opportunities for you to choose wisely how to respond and how to govern yourself.

Defying gravity

I get The Daily Stoic daily email. Today’s email quoted this passage from Walker Percy’s book, The Moviegoer:

“I don’t know quite what we’re doing on this insignificant cinder spinning away in a dark corner of the universe. That is a secret which the high gods have not confided in me. Yet one thing I believe and I believe it with every fibre of my being. A man must live by his lights and do what little he can and do it as best he can. In this world goodness is destined to be defeated. But a man must go down fighting. That is victory. To do anything less is to be less than a man.”

I read this and smiled and got up from my desk with a little more courage.

Lately I’ve been feeling a little less sure and a little more lost than normal.

I don’t seem to be getting wiser as I get older. I’m just becoming even more aware of how little I truly know. Or maybe that’s what getting wiser is all about. If so, wisdom is not living up to the hype.

Regardless, I do know that I can live by my “lights”, by my meager understanding of what it means to be good and to do good.

I know how it feels to come alive, even momentarily, and shake off the half-hearted, half-asleep caution that most of us cower behind perpetually.

I can fight. I can attempt to rise, knowing I’ll still go down sooner or later. But in merely making the attempt I will prevail and fleetingly defy the gravity that aims to keep us from escape velocity.

Make the attempt. Shine where you can. Get up and get going and put up a fight. Be the hero of your own life.

Invincible

“Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice.” –Epictetus, Discourses 1.18.21

(I came across this while catching up on my reading of The Daily Stoic, which has become a delightfully bracing start to most of my mornings.) 

I had an interpersonal communication class in college where I first encountered this principle. The professor pointed out that most of us regularly say something like “You make me mad!” 

No other person or external event, she said, can make you have a certain emotion. You generate that emotion on your own. 

As Victor Frankl made clear in Man’s Search for Meaning (which is a powerful little book overdue to be reread), there is a gap between stimulus and response. And it’s in that gap that we can choose how to respond. 

It may be a tiny gap and we may be conditioned to forfeit our range of choices in that gap, but we have the power to choose our response. 

This is hard and it puts us on the spot and removes our claims to victimhood. 

It takes practice—catching yourself at the moment of choice repeatedly, seeing the gap and owning the choice.

With concentrated effort and mindfulness, though, the gap between stimulus and response will seem to grow and your range of reasoned choices will offer clarity and a reassuring power over your actions. You will feel invincible.  

Take your stand right here, right now


Meditations 7.45:

“It’s like this, gentlemen of the jury: The spot where a person decides to station himself, or wherever his commanding officer stations him—well, I think that’s where he ought to take his stand and face the enemy, and not worry about being killed, or about anything but doing his duty.”

Marcus Aurelius just happened to be the commander-in-chief of all the armies of Rome. He was the most powerful man on the planet at the time. But even he didn’t always get to choose the terms of battle or have the advantage of the high ground or the luxury of waiting till the weather was nice.

Wherever you may be when the fight begins, make your stand there. Own the circumstances as if you had chosen them. Then give it your all.

The true enemy is the version of yourself that settles for momentary comfort over enduring excellence. Kick his ass.

Your duty is to be the best you can be, to do the most with what you’ve got wherever you may be.

Take your stand right here, right now.

Raw materials

I routinely forget to celebrate the arrival of unwanted circumstances that are beyond my control.

I need to remind myself that external events which I perceive to be happening to me are actually raw materials that I can use in my endeavor to craft a more excellent life. I can utilize events out of my control to work for me—to make me stronger and wiser and to propel me into previously unimagined possibilities.

I keep forgetting, though, and I resist, futilely, things that already are.

What is, is. Make something good with whatever comes your way.

Sunday morning Stoic: A man’s true delight

Marcus Aurelius: “A man’s true delight is to do the things he was made for.”

I don’t think we are each “made” for a particular vocation or calling.

But we are all made to be authentic human beings.

We are made for connection. We thrive as members of groups, as citizens of tribes, as sisters, brothers, fathers, and mothers.

We shine most brightly when we are a part of something bigger than just ourselves.

We are made for adventure, for journeys, for quests — literal and metaphorical.

We are made to be useful. We are adapted to solve problems and make a difference.

We are made to fully inhabit our bodies. Agility and strength and physical skill are coded into us. Those attributes may be asleep in many or even most, but humans are more than just a brain inhabiting a vehicle.

Walk more. Breathe mindfully. Move intently. Get stronger.

Un-numb your five senses.

We are made for curiosity and mystery and awe.

And for play and laughter.

And for wonder and delight.

Reflect on the moments of greatest delight in your life. Drill down to the core of that delight. Make room for more of that in your authentic human life.

When you need encouragement

Meditations 6.48:

“When you need encouragement, think of the qualities the people around you have: this one’s energy, that one’s modesty, another’s generosity, and so on. Nothing is as encouraging as when virtues are visibly embodied in the people around us, when we’re practically showered with them.”

What if I were intentional about looking for the good in those around me?

My wife’s generosity and her compassion for others regularly humble me and challenge me to give more and care more.

The college students I work with bring energy and humor and innocence that remind me not to be such a serious old man.

My daughters see in me a bigger and better person than I know myself to be. I want to become who they think I already am.

The work ethic, the patience, the common sense and common decency that I encounter from colleagues, friends, and strangers every day should move me to be better and do better.

These qualities usually pass by without my noticing, and so, too, do the gifts I could be receiving.

But if I really looked and intently focused on the ways others shine, I couldn’t help but be encouraged. And if I let them know what I see, they would be encouraged in return.

Go out of your way to warm yourself at the fire in the hearts of others. Make a habit of acknowledging and thanking and spurring on the good you’ve been given.

When you need encouragement, focus on the good that’s all around.

Sunday night Stoic: Lift me up and hurl me

Meditations 8.45:

“Lift me up and hurl me. Wherever you will. My spirit will be gracious to me there—gracious and satisfied—as long as its existence and actions match its nature. Is there any reason why my soul should suffer and be degraded—miserable, tense, huddled, frightened? How could there be?”

Fling me anywhere and into anything. I should be able to be at peace no matter where I land. If I can willingly accept what is as though I had chosen circumstances to be just as they are, then I can act with clarity and firm purpose.

I can choose to respond to even the most undesirable circumstances without the burden of self-pity, without whining and blaming and without posting annoying, self-indulgent ramblings on social media.

Disappointment and struggle and the vast shortcomings of your fellow humans are your allies in shaping you into the person you need to become.

Grow up, man. Comfort is overrated. Triumph should be hard-won, but peace is always present no matter the outcome.

Sunday night Stoic: Satisfied

Meditations 7.54:

Always and everywhere, it depends on you piously to be satisfied with the present conjunction of events…

Accept whatever you are facing. 

Embrace “the present conjunction of events”, even if it’s not the particular conjunction you would have chosen. Be satisfied with this moment. 

It’s pointless to rail against what is. What is, already is. 

But, what could be… 

That’s where you can make use of the present conjunction of events as material to make something new, something better. 

Sunday night Stoic: Freedom is the only worthy goal

“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.” –Epictetus

So much of what weighs on me is beyond my control. Maybe most of my worries, actually.

You do have control over your initiative and effort and mindset and what merits your attention, and over your response to things that lie beyond your control.

Turn your attention away from the noise of events outside of your control. No need to fret over the news, constantly hitting refresh on your news feeds to see what additional calamity you need to stress about.

Look closely at what you can control, and get busy putting your attention and effort there. 

And find freedom there.

Sunday night Stoic: Follow Nature

Meditations 5.3:

“If an action or utterance is appropriate, then it’s appropriate for you. Don’t be put off by other people’s comments and criticism. If it’s right to say or do it, then it’s the right thing for you to do or say. The others obey their own lead, follow their own impulses. Don’t be distracted. Keep walking. Follow your own nature, and follow Nature—along the road they share.”

Follow your own nature.

And follow Nature.

I’m convinced that capital “N” Nature, and my own nature which flows from it, should be my guide.

Stay in sync with the way things are. Don’t try to force a system of someone’s devising onto the model that Nature has so elegantly and organically displayed all around.

When in doubt, look to the real world. You are not an alien. You are product of this reality, even if you have the illusion that you are somehow separate.

Nature is our source and can be our guide. It is in you as much as you are in it.

Don’t be distracted. Keep walking.

Sunday morning Stoic: Why before how

“Why?” is THE question.

Drill down to your Why. 

You may find you have to rethink everything. 

Discard the superficial answers—the ones handed to you by others and the ones that don’t hold up to the scrutiny of brutally honest inquiry and genuine, everything’s-on-the-table curiosity.

Once you’ve found answers to your Why, answers that are legitimately your own, you have a foundation that can help you persevere no matter what circumstances you encounter.

*Two things: Victor Frankl walked the walk as a concentration camp survivor in World War II. His book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is a true gem of insight and wisdom. 

And, this @dailystoic Twitter stream is excellent. It’s connected to Ryan Holiday’s forthcoming book, The Daily Stoic, which is a sort of daily devotional of Stoic wisdom and encouragement. 

Sunday morning Stoic: Change is the constant

Meditations 4.36:

“Constant awareness that everything is born from change. The knowledge that there is nothing nature loves more than to alter what exists and make new things like it. All that exists is the seed of what will emerge from it. You think the only seeds are the ones that make plants or children? Go deeper.”

Change is the rule, not the exception. The appearance of stability and constancy, wherever it may seem to exist, is an illusion.

You like the way things are? Brace yourself. This won’t last.

Dissatisfied with the way things are? Patience. This won’t last.

I can try to resist this reality (and I regularly do—we all do), but that approach is an exercise in futility.

Better to ride the waves of change than swim against them.

Sunday morning Stoic: On getting away from it all

Meditations 4.3: 

“People try to get away from it all—to the country, to the beach, to the mountains. You always wish that you could too. Which is idiotic: you can get away from it anytime you like. By going within.

Nowhere you can go is more peaceful—more free of interruptions—than your own soul. Especially if you have other things to rely on. An instant’s recollection and there it is: complete tranquillity. And by tranquillity I mean a kind of harmony.

So keep getting away from it all—like that. Renew yourself. But keep it brief and basic. A quick visit should be enough…”

I just spent the past week getting away from it all at the beach with my family. Coming home is bittersweet. Bitter, for the loss of the carefree leisure. Sweet, for the return to the comfortably familiar.

But the tranquility of getting away is always just a breath away. Right here, right now. 

No beach required. 

Sunday night Stoic: Welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes

Meditations 3.4:

“Someone like that—someone who refuses to put off joining the elect—is a kind of priest, a servant of the gods, in touch with what is within him and what keeps a person undefiled by pleasures, invulnerable to any pain, untouched by arrogance, unaffected by meanness, an athlete in the greatest of all contests—the struggle not to be overwhelmed by anything that happens. With what leaves us dyed indelibly by justice, welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes—whatever we’re assigned—not worrying too often, or with any selfish motive, about what other people say. Or do, or think”

What if I accepted whatever already is as though I had chosen it, that it was somehow part of my master plan for improving my character and furthering my evolution?

Resistance to what is is futile. I only have control over how I respond to what is.

So, when something dreadful has occurred—or even something that’s just simply annoying—I can choose to welcome it wholeheartedly and make the most of it as an opportunity to learn and grow and move forward.

Sunday morning Stoic: Civic goals and your gift

Meditations 11.21:

“If you don’t have a consistent goal in life, you can’t live it in a consistent way.” Unhelpful, unless you specify a goal.

There is no common benchmark for all the things that people think are good—except for a few, the ones that affect us all. So the goal should be a common one—a civic one. If you direct all your energies toward that, your actions will be consistent. And so will you.

I keep being reminded of the emptiness of the pursuit of self-centered goals.

“What do I want to be, do, have, accomplish…?”

It’s natural to think this way and can be useful in propelling you forward. But in the long run, this mindset ends up feeling petty and superficial and ultimately uninspiring.

“I want a car, a house, a spouse…” Then what? A bigger car? A bigger house? A bigger spouse?

If you turn your focus outward instead, you will come up with more compelling goals, goals that are civic and ripple into the common good, not just your own good.

Ask, “What can I give?” rather than “What do I want?”

What can you contribute that will benefit others? How can you make a difference that elevates your community or solve a problem that pushes us forward?

What is your gift?