What movies teach kids

I enjoyed this TED Talk by Colin Stokes about the way movies are affecting his young children. He makes some great points about the role of female characters, but his key point is what movies are teaching boys.

As the dad of two young daughters, I want my girls regularly to see strong and smart female characters in movies. (And they love movies.) But I want boys to see that, too. I want the boys and men who will be in my daughters’s lives to see women as just as strong and smart as my girls do.

Certainly, my kids are informed about their possibilities more from their family and the people around them in their actual life, but there’s no doubt the stories they consume affect them.

But it goes beyond just having more female lead characters. The stories need to be smart regardless of the gender of the characters. Some of the Barbie shows I’ve seen my kids watch are filled with girl characters, but they don’t model a level of thoughtfulness and intelligence that make the viewer better for the experience.

The quality of the stories we consume can shape the stories we tell with our lives. I want my girls to get lost in books and movies and comics that inspire wonder and delight and challenge them to live a great story themselves.

Showing my work: Utah

I’m finishing up work on a keynote presentation I’m giving at a student leadership conference in Utah on Saturday. As I’ve done previously, I’m showing my work in progress. Here’s a screenshot of my Keynote app in “Light Table” view, which I think is a magical mode for thinking through ideas and putting together a narrative arc:

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I’ve already discarded and rearranged significantly in the past few days. And with less than two days till my talk, I’m still not satisfied. I take a bit of a kitchen sink approach, throwing everything in, and then I try to pare back to what I hope is a core message for the audience and the occasion. I’m rehearsing today and tomorrow (standing in front of my computer giving the talk to an empty room), and I expect this arrangement of slides and ideas to look somewhat different by the time I get to Saturday. Talking out a presentation shines a light on problems and possibilities that would never appear otherwise.

I asked some of my students this week what college students ought to hear in a talk like this, and they kept mentioning points they’ve gotten from my talks that were connected to specific images on the screen. “Remember that picture of the band on your slide…” This reaffirms my delight in using slides in general, and powerful images especially. I go acoustic and speak without slides occasionally, but I keep coming back to using images for their impact on emotion and on recall.

I keep searching for a way to take these talks to another level, to string together a cohesive narrative rather than just listing interesting, related points. I want the whole talk to tell a story, not just tell a bunch of stories. The more stories, the better, of course. But stories and anecdotes and images should all serve to support the primary narrative. This quote from Kubrick continues to challenge me:

“If you really want to communicate something, even if it’s just an emotion or an attitude, let alone an idea, the least effective and least enjoyable way is directly. It only goes in about half an inch. But if you can get people to the point where they have to think a moment what it is you’re getting at, and then discover it … the thrill of discovery goes right through the heart.” -Stanley Kubrick

The “thrill of discovery”. That’s what I’ll be searching to build into this before standing before the students I’m privileged to address in Utah this weekend. If they’ve got to sit and listen to me for 45 minutes, I want to awaken possibility and give them something worth thinking about and talking about. Okay, back to work, back to the quest.

Hackschooling: 13-year-old explains how he’s remixing his education

This kid is so impressive as he tells his story about hacking his education:

What great poise and stage presence from someone so young. And I admire what he and his family are doing by choosing an unconventional approach to education. I know so little about alternatives to conventional schools, but seeing stories like this one makes me want to explore how best to educate my own kids rather than just defaulting to what almost everyone else does.

via Unschoolery

Carbs are ruining your brain

I just downloaded Grain Brain on iBooks today. It’s a potentially game changing book by a prominent board-certified neurologist, David Perlmutter, who also happens to be a Fellow of the American College of Nutrition.

The basic point of the book: carbohydrates are toxic for your brain. Seriously. Even so-called healthy whole grains and most fruit.

He’s even got traditionally conventional low-fat/whole grain-touting Dr. Oz turning around on this. Here’s Perlmutter on Oz’s show discussing how carbohydrate consumption may be a key culprit in the rise of Alzheimer’s.

Conventional wisdom has been stubborn, but I’m seeing more mainstream acceptance recently of the merits of a low-carb/high-fat diet. Usually, it’s related to fighting obesity and diabetes. This focus on brain health, though, is startling and may make for a double-whammy that begins to change our culture’s attachment to the old, failed emphasis on cutting fat and eating more whole grains.

I know just reading the first few pages of this book has me recommitting to a low-carb approach. Both my brain and my waistline will thank me.

Grain Brain cover

The only competition that matters

The only competition that matters is the one between who you want to become and who you are.

(Can I quote myself?)

Some weeks, I fall short of the week before. But just being aware is enough to make me want to do better the next week. No need to kick myself and make it worse. Just know that funks happen. And then they pass. And then take action to be more awesome next week.

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Inspiration is for amateurs

An Austin Kleon interview led me to this Brain Pickings post with this from painter Chuck Close:

“Inspiration is for amateurs — the rest of us just show up and get to work. And the belief that things will grow out of the activity itself and that you will — through work — bump into other possibilities and kick open other doors that you would never have dreamt of if you were just sitting around looking for a great ‘art idea.’ And the belief that process, in a sense, is liberating and that you don’t have to reinvent the wheel every day. Today, you know what you’ll do, you could be doing what you were doing yesterday, and tomorrow you are gonna do what you did today, and at least for a certain period of time you can just work. If you hang in there, you will get somewhere.” -Chuck Close

I’m still trying to learn this. Too often I’m waiting for the right mood, for an idea to grab me before getting busy making something.

I need to “just show up and get to work” every day and maybe working will lead to me grabbing an idea rather than the other way around. And if I do nothing but bad work, it’s better than no work. And bad work just might lead to something that’s kind of good. You can’t get to great without starting somewhere. Starting is the essential thing.

I keep coming back to Gretchen Rubin‘s starkly simple reminder from the potent little book on work habits, Manage Your Day-to-Day:

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Monday rocks!

“Monday rocks!”

I heard this from my first-grader early this Sunday evening. She was busy doing something creative in the living room, and my wife was talking with her about the week ahead.

Her words surprised me, and I had to step in and make sure I heard her correctly. She reiterated her fondness for Monday and explained that she gets to go to music on Monday, and she loves her music class at school. Plus, she gets to see Calli, who is a terrifically fun college student who babysits my girls every Monday.

This 6-year-old is unapologetic about her enthusiasm for the start of a new week. What if everyone took on the week with such gusto?

Rock on, Monday.

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On not knowing

A neuroscientist offers a compelling case for the value of ignorance, of knowing that you don’t know:

Reminds me of a quote from Joseph Campbell that continues to resonate with me:

He who thinks he knows, doesn’t know. He who knows he doesn’t know, knows.

Instead of being sure of answers, it’s better to know the next questions to ask.

Our first responsibility

Maria Popova is prolific with her regular output of curated wisdom on brainpickings.org. I recently read an interview with her on The Great Discontent (another great site). She has an interesting story. Here’s a bit of wisdom from the interview:

I truly, truly believe that our first responsibility is to ourselves—to be true to our sense of right and wrong, our sense of purpose and meaning. That’s how we contribute to the world. Anyone who is able to do that for him or herself is already contributing a great deal of human potential into our collective, shared pool of humanity.

Don’t let other people’s ideas of success and good or meaningful work filter your perception of what you want to do. Listen to your heart and mind’s purpose; keep listening to that and even when the “shoulds” get really loud, try to stay in touch with what you hear within yourself. -Maria Popova

The opinions and expectations of others can be instructive as well as destructive. To be your best and do your best means first being true to your own vision of what that means for you.

Getting stronger

This is another great TED Talk*. Here, psychologist Kelly McGonigal shares research showing that facing stress head on rather than avoiding it or being crushed by it has beneficial effects:

Adversity and responding effectively to it generate growth. I’ve been learning that masters get great at something because they keep doing hard things, bumping up against their limits, and persevering to get better.

“No pain, no gain” is a real thing. But I’ve prided myself on avoiding stress when I can. This talk lets me know I should throw myself into the fray regularly and embrace difficulty and challenge more often.

Next time I get the panicky, tight feeling inside about a hard thing approaching, I should welcome it as an opportunity to get stronger.

*HT Getting Stronger blog

Begin again

The joy of Monday. A new week. A chance to begin again, to rethink and give it another go.

It’s the delight of an empty sheet of paper, a blank screen, a freshly erased whiteboard. The possibilities are unlimited, right?

T.G.I.M.

The greatness of kindness

From an interview with Stephen Fry where he discussed what he wished he had known at age 18:

“I suppose the thing I’d most would have like to have known or be reassured about is that in the world is what counts more than talent, what counts more than energy or concentration or commitment or anything else is kindness. And the more in the world you encounter kindness, and cheerfulness (which is kind of its amiable uncle or aunt), just the better the world always is – and all the big words: virtue, justice, truth, are dwarfed by the greatness of kindness.”

Kindness just keeps surfacing as a primary theme when pondering what makes for an excellent life. All the striving for achievement and wealth and happiness… Just being kind can change a moment, your day, your life and the lives of those you meet.

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Caring enough to be awesome

“But I do think that we sense when somebody has cared. And one thing that is incontrovertible is how much we’ve cared.” -Jony Ive, Apple’s design visionary on the Apple way.

It certainly seems that those people and organizations that really care are the ones worth talking about.

Most encounters are marked by the kind of caring that is just enough to not get someone in trouble or to avoid awkwardness. How remarkable when the level of caring is striking, when someone sweats the details and puts in extraordinary effort, even if there’s no obvious extrinsic reward.

Care more. Be more awesome.

Stand and deliver then sit and rest

I spoke to a group of college students tonight. My message: “Be a college superhero”

It’s a version of a talk I’ve done several times to various student groups, sharing wisdom I’ve learned from the many amazing students I’ve known over my twenty-one years working in higher education.

Tonight’s audience was a delight, very attentive, engaged, and encouraging. They did their part to make the experience more of a dialogue than a monologue. And I was tired at the end of my 30 minutes.

If I’m not exhausted at the end of a presentation, I know I have not given enough energy to the audience. I read that Tom Peters, the prolific business speaker, said that if you don’t need to take a seat after a speech you have let the audience down.

An effective speech is the transfer of emotion from the speaker to the audience. When you stand before fellow human beings, raise your energy level and give them all you have. Otherwise, why even show up?

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Wildness

Two things on this TED Talk:

1. Our modern world could use some rewilding. We are so disconnected from nature and have done so much damage to the real world. But nature is resilient. And even if we can’t bring the Serengeti to our back yard, we can be more intentional about building some wildness into our lives.

2. What a great presentation style by this speaker. He goes without notes and slides and commands his time on the stage. He tells stories and is completely engaging. And he’s obviously passionate about his topic. He knows his stuff, and I’m guessing he prepared thoroughly for this moment because it looks almost effortless.

“In wildness is the preservation of the world.” -Henry David Thoreau

Wired for story

There’s an interesting story in The Atlantic about the evolutionary advantages of story telling. Humans have been sharing stories for possibly a million years. Story tellers thrived and survived.

We long to be pulled along by a narrative. Even a poorly told story is more compelling than just disconnected facts. We are wired for story from generations of story tellers binding us together and guiding us as a culture.

And now stories are filling up even more of our attention each day. From The Atlantic article:

Thanks to Gutenberg and the inventions of film and television, we immerse ourselves in more narratives than our ancestors could have imagined, which means we’re cutting back, along the way, on real-life experience.

This means our choice of which stories to consume is more crucial than ever. They need to be as useful as lived experience, or more so, or we’re putting ourselves at a disadvantage.

Mediocrity abounds in popular culture. Seek out quality. Time-wasting entertainment is like junk food. Fill your time with real life and meaningful experiences. Make a great story of your own life. And when you do seek to get lost in someone else’s narrative, choose wisely. The classics are classics for a reason. They’ve stood the test of time and are probably worthy of your attention.

Seek out the greatest authors and filmmakers. And when you find an artist that connects with you, go feast on everything they’ve produced rather than sampling lightly and bouncing around to other creators. Do a deep dive into an artist’s work. If War and Peace grabs you, don’t stop there. Go read all of Tolstoy. Loved 2001? Make time to watch all of Kubrick’s films.

Our story is a million years in the making. Fill your life with stories worth your attention.

Risking failure

“One of my role models is Bob Dylan. As I grew up, I learned the lyrics to all his songs and watched him never stand still. If you look at the artists, if they get really good, it always occurs to them at some point that they can do this one thing for the rest of their lives, and they can be really successful to the outside world but not really be successful to themselves. That’s the moment that an artist really decides who he or she is. If they keep on risking failure, they’re still artists. Dylan and Picasso were always risking failure. This Apple thing is that way for me. I don’t want to fail, of course. But even though I didn’t know how bad things really were, I still had a lot to think about before I said yes. I had to consider the implications for Pixar, for my family, for my reputation. I decided that I didn’t really care, because this is what I want to do. If I try my best and fail, well, I’ve tried my best.” -Steve Jobs in 1998 discussing his return to Apple

Never stand still. The greats keep pushing, experimenting, reaching further. And risking failure.

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The Bear Bryant way

ESPN has a terrific Ivan Maisel story on their web site about the late, great Alabama football coach Bear Bryant.

Coach Bryant was born on this date 100 years ago and is easily the most iconic college football coach ever. The houndstooth hat, the affably gruff toughness, and all those championships make him stand out from his peers in the profession.

He was famous for pushing his players hard, for demanding more than was thought possible. But his high expectations and relentless pursuit of excellence paid off with six national titles for his teams. David Cutcliffe, Duke’s current head coach, worked for Coach Bryant:

Cutcliffe said what sticks in his mind is Bryant’s reasoning for pushing his coaches and players so hard.

“He used to say, ‘You can’t tell how a mule will pull until you hook it up to a heavy load,'” Cutcliffe said.

Championships are won in practice, and mastery and excellence are forged by taking on hard things, refining and tweaking, pushing to failure, and overcoming.

Bryant didn’t win his first national title until his sixteenth season as a head coach. You can bet the fifteen years before were filled with hard work and disappointment and discarded strategies and incremental improvements that didn’t make headlines. All of that made him into the championship coach he became.

John Wooden, the iconic basketball coach who is just as legendary for his attention to detail and commitment to continuous improvement, didn’t win the first of his ten national titles until his seventeenth season as a head coach.

Being awesome is not typically an overnight endeavor.

 

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